


Dreams and Insecurities

by VagaVawn



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: FTM, FTM Rainbow Dash, Other, Transgender, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-23 23:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1584119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VagaVawn/pseuds/VagaVawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>RD experiences a dream that influences her to finally speak her mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams and Insecurities

The last thing I felt was the soft fingers grazing my scalp and the warm air brushing against my cheek as my eyes shut gently and my breathing slowed. I recall a soft sigh as I drifted. My body becoming fairly limp as I felt my consciousness slipping away. "Mhh..." Being the last words to slip out of my mouth as I woke so suddenly. But it was dark as if it were night time. I looked around and saw I was alone. My hand rubbing my face as I got up and spread my wings. "Where am I?" I asked. The previously well lit apple fields now dark, but well lit by a bright full moon.

The moon... I looked up at the moon and stared at it for a long time. My eyes tired as I watched it off in the distance. My eyes fixated as I whispered. "Where am I..." I then heard whispers among the trees and I looked around. I saw, standing there... People I knew from ponyville but they seemed to just be on their own, in their own groups without me. I walked over slowly on my two feet. "Hey what's up guys?" I asked aloud but they ignored and even moved away from me as I reached out to join the group. "G-Guys?" I said shakily. They seemed to glance at me as if they were talking about me but their mouths were all shut. 

I grew angry, felt alone. More alone than I have been feeling for a while as I heard more whispers and I turned around to shout at whoever was whispering about me, only to find I was yelling at my only friends... I tried to apologize but they seemed hurt and left me there alone... Even Applejack. "W-Wait I-I didn't mean it...." I whimpered out. No one was willing to listen... I felt tears drain from my eyes but when I felt with my hand, nothing. I then noticed my hand was cold as ice so I looked to see what was wrong with it. I saw it, my skin was tinged frost bite blue and I freaked out. "H-HELP!!!" I cried out.

"Why would anyone want to help someone like you?" A distinct voice said sounding a lot like a more condescending version of Rarity as I shuddered at the iciness in the voice. "If you ask me, this is what you deserve..." She added then the voice faded.

My hands wouldn't close so I dropped them to my sides and I shut my eyes, dropping onto my knees and softly I would sob, tears actually hitting the grass as I peered through them to see the grass absorb the tears and grow. I would then lay onto my side and choke out in tears. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?" I shouted but then the warmth of the sun came back upon my skin and my friends were back and we were sitting, eating on a picnic blanket. I was included into the conversation, everyone loved to be around me. It was like a complete change. "Uh..." I whispered but I didn't say anything. Honestly this in it's entirety has been really weird. I then went to take a piece of pie into my mouth, just as I bit down the world shifted, my friends all melted away except for her... "Aj..." I whispered as my fork and pie even melted.

"Sugar cube." She smiled. "Why can't yah tell me... What's wrong?" She said as she then shook her head. "Yah know yah can tell me anything..." She said as she moved her hand onto my chest, my normal chest reduced to the same size of a male's as I felt my eyes fill once more with tears.

"Y-You think I don't want to? Because I do! But..." I said full of doubt. "I mean how could you like this?!? Apple Jack...." I say as I close my eyes and moved my hand to gently hold Aj's there on my chest but before I can even touch her hand she's gone. I feel as alone and blue as ever. 

I wake up to see AJ there with a smile on her face. She asked if I was alright and I sat up, a smile never creeping up as I take AJ's hand into my own and I look at her. "Applejack... W-We need to talk." I look into her eyes and she prepares herself for what I had to say.

All of that day, I explained to her how I felt about my body and how I would like to be treated. My eyes never leaving her's as she seemed unsure about it all but she assured me she'd be supportive... I was happy she just accepted me for who I am and this sudden weight had been lifted off of my chest, but still there was a large heavy stress there from keeping these thoughts in my mind for so long...


End file.
